Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Here’s how to deal with a 14-year-old girl who dyed her hair

A 14-year-old daughter dyed her hair because her dad can't see the difference in it.

Her reaction to the change was very much unlike her, and she hasn't spoken to him in days .

The best option is to try and feel her out and ask her how she's feeling self-conscious about her hair.

Advice from Cheyna: Does Lauren need more attention? Is she acting out because she’s ashamed of Olivia at school? My husband thinks we need to be stricter, but I don’t know if that will help. I think Lauren is justifying her actions to herself by saying that Olivia is faking the pain, and a very deep heart to heart is in order.