Now That I’ve Left: Is it stupid to refuse to forgive someone?

Now That You’ve Left is a new Slate column from noted ex-wife Scaachi Koul .

It took a year post-split for the anger to even start to ebb, and another for PTSD to ease off its hair trigger.

Koul : Is it stupid to refuse to forgive someone? Why does it feel like I need permission to sustain a private long-term grudge?.

If you feel like you still need to be mad, then go for it, but surely there are some other emotional experiences you can add to the mix.

It isn’t that you have to stop being angry altogether, but that you need to find ways to fuse it with something else.

The point is that anger can also work in concert with other feelings.