How to do it: I’m in my late 20s and want to date seriously, but sex has always been disappointing. What’s the best way to find someone?

Sex itself is mediocre at best, no matter who I’ve dated, says Stoya and Rich .

How to Do It is Slate 's sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Stoya or Rich here.

Find out what you need to do to weed out the wrong people on dating apps.

The more you want it/the more important the partner is, the harder it is for you to ejaculate.

Consider abstaining from masturbation for a longer-than-typical time before having sex.

Take your orgasm off the table entirely: Approach sex without worrying about whether you come, just for the sheer enjoyment of it.

You might as well get on a bunch of apps (including Tinder and Match ) and put yourself in front of people IRL , via activities and nightlife, to maximize your pool of potential partners.

Don’t let your inexperience hold you back, and a strong connection with someone can make everything fall into place.