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Guardian

Guardian

Afraid of rejection and humiliation? Here is how to take up space with confidence

Guardian
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68% Informative

It can be a challenge to feel comfortable taking up space in the world.

Anxiety about saying or doing the wrong thing can prevent us from saying anything at all.

Therapists have a name for this fear of exposure: self-focused attention.

It’s a common symptom of social phobia and anxiety.

Jo Perkins , a chartered counselling and coaching psychologist, says preparation is vital.

She says we often move between online meetings without a break.

The trouble with speaking up at meetings is that we often zone out while waiting anxiously for the moment to say our piece.

The best way to combat anxiety and remain calm is to depersonalise it, says Perkins.

Many people struggle to complain, often veering towards one extreme (shouty, in my case) or another (squeaky mouse) Experts say that 70% of people can be prone to this, with only 30% of shyness being down to genetics.

Alice , 27 , a PhD student, says she is usually a confident communicator but when she has to stand her ground over money, she turns into “a gibbering wreck”.